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Simian Practicalist

White House to Shine Ukrainian Flag Colors

White House to Shine Ukrainian Flag Colors

Washington DC – As a show of support for Ukraine, the White House will light its façade with the colors of the Ukrainian flag.


“Although we’re not… not committing any boots on the ground yet,” said Biden, “we still want to show our support for err… Ukraine. I mean, I’ve taken enough money from them, they’ve paid for some pretty lights at least.”


White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki then took over the press conference. “What the president means is that US–Ukrainian relations have always been positive, so they deserve some support.


“Also, we’re calling for Russian President Putin to halt the violence and not circle back around cities looking for money caches, biological and radioactive materials, and pictures of little girls. We don’t want the world to see any of that.”


Biden then added, “I like pictures of Ukrainian girls and… err… I would like to show my support for them. So… err… more sanctions and stuff against the Tsar.”


In response to complaints about showing foreign colors on the White House, a staff member speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “Well, it’s an improvement on the rainbows, isn’t it?”

 

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