Pelosi Announces Operation Southern Comfort

Washington DC – US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Operation Southern Spear on Thursday.

“We’re calling it that because we’re gonna shove spears up the out-holes of the cartels,” said Hegseth. “And let’s be honest, it’s not just them, it’s also for those who traffic children, launder money and rig voting machines. Funny how no one talks about them.”

Meanwhile, former Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi has announced an operation of her own.

“Just because I plan to retire doesn’t mean I… um… going to be idle,” she said. “It’s going to be Operation Southern Comfort all day, every day and… and we’re gonna be more smashed than those Venezuelans.”

The Pentagon has not made any comments on how it will tackle drunk goats within the US.

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