Brussels, Belgium – The EU on Friday decided not to just take the frozen Russian assets and use them to fund Ukraine’s defense. Instead, it agreed to provide a €90-billion loan. “We were really hoping to just take Russia’s money,” said German Chancellor Friedrich Merz. “Let’s be honest, we’d already spent most of it on coke, washing machines, male strippers and coke. We needed to legitimize that theft and spending.” European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen had earlier v

Washington DC – US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Operation Southern Spear on Thursday. “We’re calling it that because we’re gonna shove spears up the out-holes of the cartels,” said Hegseth. “And let’s be honest, it’s not just them, it’s also for those who traffic children, launder money and rig voting machines. Funny how no one talks about them.” Meanwhile, former Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi has announced an operation of her own. “Just bec

CNN reported that the DOJ has filed charges against Juan Andres Donato Bautista—Chairman of the Philippines’s Commission on Election...