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Simian Practicalist

My First Fake Inauguration Day

My First Fake Inauguration Day

Los Angeles, CA – Given the moderate success of the newly released “My First False Flag Government Building Storming”, Mattel has released “My First Fake Inauguration Day”.


“We were working on our next ‘My First False Flag’ but then Inauguration Day happened,” said Adriana Clerk, spokesperson for Mattel.


The set comes with the same Capitol Building as “My First False Flag” but with the addition of a solid flag pole and a PRC flag.


“It’s not always the communist Chinese flag,” said Clerk. “There is some degree of randomness. It could be the Ukrainian flag or Russian or Antifa or Planned Parenthood… anything but American. But don’t worry, there is a genuine US flag patch on the soldier’s costume with a highly accurate AR-style toy gun!”


But that’s not all. The set comes with six faux plastic barricades, six faux concrete barricades and a 20-piece (6 x 4) faux wire fence to completely seal off the area. There is even Biden’s faux wooden (satanic?) bible, an inaugural platform and a broadcast camera for his fake swearing-in ceremony.


When asked about the total lack of figurines, Clerk answered, “Well, crowds are sold and paid for separately. Besides, hardly anyone was there and those who were didn’t look like they wanted to be. But we’ll make sure our next ‘My First False Flag’ will have lots of figurines.”


One tester, however, did not mind not having figurines. “Many of Biden’s voters were dead people anyway so it makes sense that there aren’t any figurines representing real supporters.”


Another tester was more pensive. “First it was the Star Wars sequels and now this. I’m just so glad my child gets to commemorate this farce with this toy set. I would’ve never imagined all this farce when I was a child.”


The RRP of “My First Fake Inauguration Day” is US$249.99. The AR-style toy gun will continue to be available as long as there are no gun confiscation programs initiated by Kamala Harris.

 

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