Protests intensified yesterday at the ark construction site led by Patriarch Noah.
The protests initially started at the patriarch’s announcement that there would be judgement from God in the form of a flood.
“That’s just conspiracy theory,” said a resident who lives near the construction site. “Where’s the water going to come from? It’s going to fall from the sky, is it?!”
According to Chac of the Meteorology Service: “No such occurrence has been recorded. And I cannot see any scientific data to suggest it can even happen. Ever.”
Yesterday, the protests expanded to include animal trans-pride and got violent when it was announced that the ark will be only be taking in a pair of each animal, male and female.
“That is so bigoted,” said one protestor, “to ignore the other eighty genders.”
“I wouldn’t want to board a boat with such a narrow-minded old man anyway,” said another.
Patriarch Noah cannot be reached for comment. However, one of his sons, Japheth, remarked: “I am not sure if I can wait another hundred years or so for this flood to come.”
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