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Simian Practicalist

Owner of Tent Planet Fears Business Will Be Flattened

San Francisco, CA – Alain Snipes, owner of Tent Planet, is worried that his business will finally be flattened.


“First, it was the lockdowns, which didn’t help,” said Snipes. “And then it’s blatant theft.”


After the lockdowns were lifted, Tent Planet initially received more business as more Americans were evicted from their homes and therefore required tents.


“It wasn’t too bad at first,” said Snipes, “but then people started walking in and just took stuff. And now, it looks like bombs hitting tent camps is the trendy thing to do.”


Snipes’s fear is understandable as his lot with hundreds of tents on display with the occasional squatter may be confused for a tent camp.


“A lot of people have already lost their businesses and maybe even their lives, so I should be grateful,” he said, “but I don’t need a shell signed by Nikki Haley or whatever that loser’s name is land right here.”

 

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