Local Church Musician Arrested

St Paul, MN – A professional drummer who plays for a local church has been arrested for “disturbing the peace” in his neighborhood.


Local Church Musician Arrested

The 25-year-old male musician reportedly has a habit of recording his band during church services using his phone, then subsequently transfers the recording wirelessly to the devices at home in order to play it to a friend.


Last Sunday evening, his recording was also transferred to the wireless devices of half the street. The drummer claims it was an accident.


George Smith, a 75-year-old neighbor, was shocked when the music interrupted his listening to the radio. “I was listening to the news when this monotonous rubbish started blaring through my speakers.”


Mrs McGowan, another neighbor, was also unimpressed. “I know modern music is the norm at church nowadays but at least play something interesting; sounds like it’s either the 4/4 bubblegum-pop or the droning funeral march.”


Ms Mayfield from further down the road who is also a music teacher was more sympathetic. “The songs were horrific but I can sympathize with the drummer and guitarist. I can tell the former in particular was trying to make it interesting… I don’t go to church but I can’t see churchgoers not apostatizing after that. It put me off my dinner.”


Sergeant Daley, one of the arresting officers, listened to the recording. “The drumming wasn’t too bad but the rest… man, I gotta wash my ears. And maybe call an exorcist.”


The drummer was subsequently released with a fine of a quarter-ounce of pot and the rest of the neighborhood was recommended to secure their wireless devices.

 

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