Church Excommunicates Sound Mixer
St Paul, MN – Re-re-reformed Lutheran Church has excommunicated one of their sound mixers, their first excommunication since 1962. Apparently, due to the poor performances of the band last Sunday, the sound guy has, with one swipe of his forearm, brought all the sliders down.
“We tolerate just about anything,” said church council member Rod Träge, “and I mean anything. We do try to be inclusive. But we don’t tolerate turning off the band, even if the first song is always ‘Shine, Jesus, Shine’.”
According to one regular churchgoer, “Yeah, I can sympathize with both sides. Sometimes, I notice he just hits the mute button for the really awful singers. Half the congregation doesn’t notice anyway and the other half pretends not to notice.”
Another church member said, “I guess he had enough of bad musicians and just gave up. Sound mixing can only do so much.”
Another council member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, added, “The way I see it, he wasn’t excommunicated for doing his job. It was that he swiped down the levels so hard that those colored plastic slider thingies came off! That equipment is expensive.”
The excommunicated sound mixer did not respond to requests for comment.
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