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Chinese and US Warplanes Don’t Identify as Warplanes

Washington DC – In an apparent response to the US and Japanese navies conducting exercises in the Philippine Sea, China sent 39 warplanes into Taiwan’s ADIZ on Sunday.

China, however, denies that was the case.

“We did send aircraft into the area,” said Colonel Jin, spokesperson for the People’s Liberation Army Air Force. “But they no identify as ‘warplanes’. They are ‘peaceplanes’, planes of peace, designed to deliver pieces of peace. It is Americans with their F-35 warplanes that are frying near our territory.”

Admiral Smith of the US Navy took a similar stance regarding US naval aircraft: “Our F-35s don’t identify as warplanes either and are considered fluid—I mean, everybody knows the F-35 tries to be a bit of everything but just ends up sucking a lot.”

The US Navy is currently considering altering the F-35 coating to pink even though it was not included in the budget.

“We believe pink might look cooler, especially if a shirtless Tom Cruise or Val Kilmer fly the thing after playing beach volleyball,” said Smith.

A representative from Lockheed Martin commented that the pink coating is technically achievable but the cost is also fluid.

Chinese and US Warplanes Don’t Identify as Warplanes

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