Washington DC – President Joe Biden announced on Thursday that in addition to commuting the sentences of about 1,500 individuals, he will grant preemptive pardons to about 8,000 drones.
“America was built on the possibility of second or third or fifty-third chances,” said Biden. “As the president, I have the great privilege to grant mercy to any politician or drone that may end up breaking the law.”
The drones, although flying at night, do typically fly with their navigation lights on.
“They’re mostly flying right but they are hyping up or scaring some folks or whatever,” added Biden. “And besides, whatever they’re looking for, they’re not very good at it. They’re useless, can’t even pick up an ice cream for me.”
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