Queensland Roll Out Pill-Testing Sites for Recreational Drugs Only

Brisbane, Australia – Queensland will become the first state in Australia to roll out fixed and mobile pill-testing sites.

“We don’t wanna encourage drug use but it’s important to waste resources on users so they can test the stuff they just bought,” said Queensland Health Minister Yvette D’Ath. “I mean, we don’t want to actually take out the suppliers cos that will ruin the real economy.”

D’Ath clarified that the sites will only test the likes of recreational drugs. “Those who want to test what’s really in the COVID vaccines are out of luck,” she said. “And besides, it’s not like I know what’s in them.”

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