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Experts: New COVID Boeing Variant Can Cause Sudden Death

Arlington, VA – Medical experts are warning that the latest COVID variant “Boeing” is so dangerous that it can cause sudden death.


“We found that the death of Joshua Dean, the second Boeing whistleblower, was due to a new variant of COVID,” said Dr Tony Hoggwash. “With this variant, complications can develop quickly and can cause sudden death, kinda like flights.”


Experts are advising that people get their sixth or seventh jab, especially if they are in the high-risk group.


“Don’t wait, book your booster now,” added Hoggwash, “even if it’s not made for the Boeing variant, it’ll maybe sorta help reduce hospitalizations.”


Boeing’s representatives, however, have taken issue with the latest variant named after the company: “We want to assure the public that our aircraft’s air conditioning system is highly capable of filtering out viruses, so travellers need not worry about catching COVID. It’s even better when a door blows out, cos there’s more ventilation.”


Experts: New COVID Boeing Variant Can Cause Sudden Death
 

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