Diver Who Identified as Skydiver Jumped Off Plane

Los Angeles, CA – A 10m-platform diver who identified as a skydiver jumped off of a plane yesterday.


Richard Walker, 21, was wearing only his bathers.


When questioned by the skydivers just before the plane took off, Walker apparently answered, “I sometimes identify as a skydiver. Besides, jumping off a 10-meter platform is the same as jumping off a plane anyway.”


One skydiver insisted that there was indeed a difference of at least 2000m.


Others, however, were not as concerned. “We’ve had jerks who jumped wearing shorts so a weirdo wearing only his bathers wasn’t that odd,” said another skydiver. “We just didn’t think he’d actually jump wearing only his bathers with no parachute.”


“He did do a few spins and somersaults… so I guess he was a diver after all,” said Ms Ericsson who jumped solo for the first time.


Walker did indeed land in an outdoor public pool. It is uncertain whether that was intended. “He presumably died on impact,” stated the coroner, although the report is yet to be completed. Fortunately, no one else was injured.


The pool, however, will remain closed indefinitely as cleanup and repairs continue.

 

Be sure to subscribe to our mailing list so you get each new Opinyun that comes out!

 

Follow us on Farcebook, Twitterpated, Instasham, MeWe, Gab, and BooTube, as well as Parler!

7 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
Screen Shot 2021-12-09 at 4.49.31 PM.png

10% Off
Use Code: MERRYXMAS

MERCHANDISE!