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Simian Practicalist

Citizen Goes to Vote Discovers Only One Candidate on Ballot

Cardassia Prime – A citizen who went to vote in the Detapa Council elections discovered that there was only one candidate on the ballot: Gul Dukat.


“The Cardassian Union is practically run by the Obsidian Order so I am not surprised candidates have been removed from the ballot and probably from existence but I expected at least two candidates,” said the loyal citizen who wished to remain anonymous.


The citizen also, out of “heartfelt concern” for Cardassia, questions why Gul Dukat is the only candidate.


“Look what’s happened to Cardassia under Dukat,” said the citizen. “There was the disastrous withdrawal from Bajor, the cost of living has gone up with all the funding going to the Klingon war, our military has been gutted, immigrants are flooding in from the Dominion, most of them military-age males, and the Obsidian Order are arresting people just for having not enough yamok sauce for breakfast.”


“The Supreme Tribunal, our highest court of jurisprudence, ruled to remove the other candidates from the ballot,” said Gul Dukat. “It had nothing to do with me.”


In other news, Vorta Weyoun has assured all Cardassians that the Dominion will not interfere with the elections.


Citizen Goes to Vote Discovers Only One Candidate on Ballot
 

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