California Highway Patrol to Protect California from Kamala Harris
- Simian Practicalist
- 13 hours ago
- 1 min read
Sacramento, CA – Just days after President Trump revoked former Vice President Harris’s Secret Service protection “cos she wasn’t even a real vice president”, California Governor Gavin Newsom has stepped in.
“Our state is a mess but still, Kamala is so drunk all the time, it’s probably better California Highway Patrol provide protection,” said a Newsom staffer on the condition of anonymity.
“But mostly, I think the governor just loves to get along with drunk black women, even if they’re pretending to be black,” added the same staffer.
Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass agrees with the decision: “I have no idea how to deal with fires, but we can’t have assassins threatening to set former Vice President Harris on fire. With the amount of alcohol in her body, she’ll really burn the whole state down.”
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