Vidiians Developing COVID-19 Vaccine for Earth
Delta Quadrant (FNS) – The Vidiians are developing a vaccine for COVID-19.
Yesterday, Chief Surgeon of the Vidiian Sodality Sulan announced, “Our medical knowhow and technology are far superior. We don’t want to disparage the efforts of Terran pharmaceutical entities, but we are confident that we can come up with a vaccine in record time that is actually safe. We just started fifteen minutes ago and we are ready for testing.”
When asked about the failure of Vidiians to cure their own phage for the past 2000 years, Sulan was nonetheless optimistic. “Yes, we admit that is a small blemish on our record, but the phage is a highly complex disease so it doesn’t really count. Your COVID-19 is child’s play in comparison.”
Some medical professionals are not convinced. Keith Rosenthal, Professor of Immunology at Harvard, said, “If I were to be cynical, I would say that at least pharmaceutical companies just want money. What do the Vidiians truly want?”
The Vidiians indeed have not requested any currency or natural resources, but rather an unspecified number of human subjects for vaccine trials and related immunological research. “I assure you all that we do believe in informed consent when it comes to medical procedures,” stated Sulan. “We have no intention of stealing anyone’s lungs or face, and with the permission of your UN, we’ll be better at distributing and administering the vaccine too.”
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