Delta Quadrant (FNS) – The Federation has issued a warning that any of Species 8472 who have a history of “significant” allergic reaction should not receive the Voyager/Borg nanite vaccine.
The warning comes after two individuals of Species 8472 were given the nanite vaccine on Thursday, who both then suffered a reaction which included uncontrollable convulsions.
All senior staff on the Federation USS Voyager and all Borg Cubes in the sector have been informed.
The Doctor, Chief Medical Officer of Voyager, said, “As is common with new and unproven vaccines, I have issued precautionary advice that any of Species 8472 with a history of significant allergic reaction to medicine, food, or even funny looks from other people should not receive the vaccine.”
It is understood that Species 8472 have a formidable immune system and the two do not have a history of any allergy.
“I didn’t say the advice makes sense,” added The Doctor, “that’s why it’s called ‘precautionary advice’—we say that when we doctors don’t have a clue.”
“This vaccine scares the hell out of me,” said Boothby, a high-ranking official of Species 8472, “and us older folk in general.”
There are unconfirmed reports of 23 deaths and up to one thousand others of Species 8472 who have also suffered allergic reactions.
“I cannot confirm the specifics,” said The Doctor. “All I can say is that, fortunately, one of the two is recovering well. As for the other one, I don’t know, it’s probably dead. It’s shriveled up and is unresponsive. I’m just the Emergency Medical Hologram, what do I know?”
Be sure to subscribe to our mailing list so you get each new Opinyun that comes out!