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Zelensky Announces New Curtain Business

Ukrainian President Zelensky has announced his new peace-loving initiative: a curtain business!


“Thanks to all our international investors and sponsors, we have an army of workers who are ready to install new curtains,” said Zelensky. “We don’t just cater to eastern Ukraine and our catalog is big too!”


Indeed, the company offers a wide variety of curtains, blinds, shades and other drapery from over 40 countries, primarily from the US, France, Germany and the UK. There are smaller ranges from other countries too, such as Poland, Australia, Italy, Sweden and Slovakia.


Most of the curtains from the US are, however, of the blackout type whereas French are typically of the sheer and decorative types. The British range is mostly of Venetian blinds. German and Ukrainian drapes are typically red, black and white.


“We had more workers before but still, with fifty thousand workers ready this spring, we can accommodate any orders, no matter how large or small,” said Zelensky. “Our competitive rate is at about $6,950 per feet or $22,800 per meter. We look forward to your business!”


 

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