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Simian Practicalist

Man Cleans Windows and Installs New Curtains for Three Days of Darkness

Philadelphia, PA – A man decided to rip out his horizontal blinds, clean the windows and install new curtains.


His wife thought he did it in the spirit of Donald Trump’s recent election victory: to “clean house” in preparation for the next chapter.


“That was partly the reason, I guess,” said the man. “It was also cos blinds are the worst invention ever: overly complicated, resource intensive, malfunctions easily, don’t block light and difficult to clean. They’re worse than electric vehicles.”


The man considers horizontal blinds as “a symbol of the world’s stupidity”.


“Then I thought I’d better change them and clean the windows before the war, Chastisement and Three Days of Darkness hit,” he added, “even if we’re not supposed to look out the window during.”


“The curtains are admittedly pretty nice,” said the wife. “They’re polyester though and will probably catch fire when a nuke goes off even if it goes off far away. Still, we should probably have a priest bless them or something.”


Man Cleans Windows and Installs New Curtains for Three Days of Darkness
 

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