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Simian Practicalist

Francis Approves Change to “Lord’s Prayer”

Vatican – In an interview on Sunday night, Pope Francis said, “I believe that, ethically, everyone should take the vaccine.” And in light of that sentiment, the Roman Pontiff has taken another step in the fight against the COVID-19 pandemic.


After a brief consultation with the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Francis has formally approved an optional change in wording to the fourth petition of the Our Father: “Give us this day our daily bread” may be changed to “Give us this day our daily vaccine”.


Francis Approves Change to “Lord’s Prayer”

“I admit the change is a bit drastic,” said Francis, “which is why it is merely optional.”


When asked if the COVID-19 vaccine should be taken since its safety is still questionable, Francis mumbled: “Well, the freemason clergy who infiltrated the Vatican poisoned Pope Paul VI back in ’78, so maybe we want to poison the rest of you now. I don’t know, I just work here.”


Despite “daily bread” already means one’s spiritual and temporal needs and therefore includes medical needs, Francis clarified the matter stating, “Any prayer of Man is ultimately good for Man. Besides, we’ve been making humanistic and pointless changes to almost everything since Vatican II, why stop now?”

 

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