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Simian Practicalist

Footage Reveals Origin of Mysterious Votes in Pennsylvania

Harrisburg, PA – Multiple CCTV footages from across the state of Pennsylvania have surfaced, shedding light on the origins of the many Biden votes tallied which gave the Democratic candidate the lead. President Trump at one point had a lead of over 700,000 votes.


Footage Reveals Origin of Mysterious Votes in Pennsylvania

Although forensic analysis is yet to be completed, the video footages are seemingly authentic and, in all cases, show hordes of zombies shuffling toward voting centers between 3 AM and 5 AM on November 4.


Ms Jen Biden (no relation to the presidential candidate) was an official who was counting votes at that time. “I didn’t say anything because I thought no one would believe me,” she said. “But it’s true, thousands of zombies rushed the voting center, totally ignoring social-distancing rules and demanded to vote.”


Ms Biden is still shaken from the experience. “I asked to see their ID so I can check their registration, but they simply said that they were already dead and were registered as such. Mrs Chen, the head official present, insisted that death registrations were good enough so I had to deal with them appropriately.”

 

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