Evangelical Church Sued for Fake “Live” Album

Los Angeles, CA – Nothing-but-the-Cross Evangelical Church is being sued again. And for once, it is not for tax evasion or sexual misconduct with a minor. According to court records, it is for “false advertising re its latest live album”.


The plaintiff is Mike Pförtner of Minnesota. According to his complaint: “The ‘live’ album is clearly a fake, engineered to sound like a live recording when it was recorded in a studio.”


Pförtner, who is a professional musician, responded to requests for comment. “All they did was add a lot of reverb to make it sound like it was recorded in a large hall or church.


“And toward the end of every second line, singing from the so-called congregation can be heard faintly, lagging behind precisely half a beat and only audible for one or two beats before fading away. They’re not heard any other time, none of them ever sings out of tune and, even though it’s made to sound like there’re at least a hundred people, it always sounds so uniform. As if the album was recorded live.”


Nothing-but-the-Cross Evangelical Church has offered to give Pförtner a full refund and “he can keep the CD anyway”.


However, Pförtner is adamant. “I don’t want a refund and I don’t want the CD. The album is s— anyway. It’s the principle. Everything is fake nowadays. I’m pretty sure Hell is real and live.”

 

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