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Aschen Enters COVID Vaccine Race

Aschen Enters COVID Vaccine Race

Cheyenne Mountain, CO – Not to be outdone by the Vidiians and the Borg, the Aschen have entered the race to make the COVID-19 vaccine.

“We make vaccines for other worlds all the time, so we have a lot of experience,” said Mollem, an ambassador of the Aschen Confederation. “It won’t have side effects. We never exclude any groups during our trials. We test on entire populations. The only side effect is that you will live healthier lives that are twice as long.”

Despite the Vidiians and the Borg having already begun their development, Mollem is nonetheless confident of success. “As I said, we have the experience. We have seen the likes of your COVID before and, in fact, had developed vaccines for it since before 2010.”

Not everyone, however, is as optimistic. A medical officer from Stargate Command (SGC), speaking on the condition of anonymity, said, “The Aschen haven’t said much about it but from what I’ve seen, there is evidence to suggest their vaccine causes infertility.”

A high-ranking commander, also from SGC who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said, “Oh I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage. If they try to screw us… well, nothing a black hole can’t fix.”


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