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Study Reveals Why Politicians and Officials Pursue “Zero-case policy”

Seville, Spain – A recent study published in Spain has discovered a cause for why politicians and officials around the world pursue the “zero-case policy” in this plandemic by harshly implementing lockdowns.

Pedro Gomez, the professor of behavioral science who lead the study, explained his findings as “quite simple”.

Study Reveals Why Politicians and Officials Pursue “Zero-case policy”

“This is due to the politicians’ love of golf,” he said. “In golf, one thinks they have the entire course to themselves. It could be a park open to everyone but, no, it’s theirs. They tend to view the world as their playground. And they don’t actually do any work.

“In terms of the game, the lowest score wins, so that explains why officials try to outdo each other with the lockdowns and the like, trying to get the lowest cases and economy.”

The study by Professor Gomez’s team took two days and involved copious amounts of beer and weed whilst they randomly went through old articles and reports.

“The pattern was so obvious that we didn’t even bother to tabulate it,” said Serena Avila, a PhD student on the team. “But it doesn’t matter… as long we call it ‘science’ the paper will get accepted.”

According to Gina Alonso, another PhD student, there were other correlations. “I also found that the officials who stroked and polished their clubs more are more likely to be lecherous perverts with eighteen mistresses who aggressively implement lockdowns. They also advocate for eighteen jabs. Maybe it’s a Freudian thing.”


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