Starmer: War Is Peace. Freedom Is Digital ID. Ignorance Is Warm Beer.
- Simian Practicalist
- 3 minutes ago
- 1 min read
London, UK – Prime Minister Keir Starmer is “really proud” to finally implement digital ID in the UK.
“We’re about forty-one years late in ushering in our grand vision of 1984,” said Starmer, “because… because umm… we love free speech, which we’ve had for too long, I mean, a very long time.”
The new digital ID system is intended to help combat illegal immigrants, particularly regarding access to government services and employment.
“We know it’s easier to stop people from getting to our island,” added Starmer, “but we rather implement digital ID… which only allows us to keep an eye on the cardholding citizens… Right.”
Starmer had even travelled to India to check out their digital ID system.
“We have a tradition in taking stuff from India,” said Starmer, “so it makes sense to check them out even if we have enough of them in the UK.”
Ultimately, it is to ensure that only BritCard holders can buy warm beer and curry as well as to deduct their social credit points if they complain about them. According to the statement from the PM’s office: “War is peace. Freedom is digital ID. Ignorance is warm beer.”
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