Los Angeles, CA – A mechanic based in Northridge has recommended vehicular vaccines for all vehicles.
“We can’t be too careful nowadays,” said chief mechanic Larry Fitzsimmons. “That’s why I use the latest Pfizer Fuel Injector Vaccine.”
Unlike the Pfizer vaccine for humans, the vehicular version actually unclogs engines by dissolving 95% of petroleum clotting. But Pfizer states that it is really to protect other vehicles rather than for the one you use it on.
“I still recommend you keep at least two car lengths from other vehicles,” said Fitzsimmons, “in case their exhaust makes your car dirty.”
Pfizer also recommends keeping two car lengths or parking spaces even when the cars are parked and the engines are off because there is “a short period of time when the ignition is switched on just after parking or when about to leave but before having moved away to an appropriate distance”.
According to a government statement, one of the reasons for lockdowns is to have “fewer people go out at the same time so there are more car spaces available.”
Fitzsimmons has cautioned car owners to not inject the human vaccines into the car tires. “The tires will deflate and you can’t go anywhere. What are you, stupid?”
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