Man Excommunicated for Sleeping through Sermon, Cites Tradition
- Simian Practicalist
- 6 days ago
- 1 min read
Melbourne, Australia – A man has finally been excommunicated after sleeping through the sermon on multiple occasions.
The man had been attending St Eutychus Lutheran Church since a teenager. For the past twenty years, he had been found sleeping through the sermon at least a thousand times.
Finally, the pastor has had enough. “I consider myself tolerant but I work really hard on my one-hour sermons.”
The man, however, denies any wrongdoing.
“I think one hour is too long, especially when it’s just waffle,” he said. “And besides, falling asleep during a sermon is a tradition established by the first believers. Read the Acts of the Apostles.”
The pastor also claims long sermons are tradition according to the same account in Acts chapter 20.
A member of the congregation speaking on the condition of anonymity sympathizes with the man. “Well, I’m pretty sure the pastor, unlike Apostle Paul, can’t reverse death by long sermons.”
The man is considering converting to catholicism and attending Tridentine Mass where it is quiet with no sermon and the whole thing is over in 45 minutes.
Be sure to subscribe to our mailing list so you get each new Opinyun that comes out!
Comments