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Banks Dying Suddenly Are All Just Coincidences

Washington DC – The recent collapse of Silicon Valley Bank and the tanking of bank stocks are all just coincidences according to experts.

“I know there is the theory that companies’ immunity has been waning, leading them to get boosters from banks such as SVB,” said economics Professor Johan Maykszitup, “which in turn led to SVB collapsing suddenly but I assure you that is all coincidence.”

“If people can die suddenly, I don’t see why banks can’t since banks are run by people,” said Dr Fauci. “Not that I can do anything about the banks… I mean, I can help an old lady at the dinner table and sell vaccines, but that’s about it.”

Other experts have expressed a similar view but stressed that the system is still sound.

“It’s concerning, obviously, but the only way forward is to make sure the banks keep on getting their boosters,” said a board member of the Pfederal Reserve.

Banks Dying Suddenly Are Just Coincidences

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