Trudeau: Never Promised to Not Reduce Chocolate Rations

Ottawa, China – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that he “never promised to not reduce chocolate rations”.

During a talk at the University of Ottawa, he declared that chocolate rations were “always” at 20 grams per week.

“Chocolate rations were never at 30 grams per week,” said Trudeau, “that’s vaccine doses, so I think some people, probably the fringe minority, are forgetful.”

Trudeau then added, “The only things I promised to reduce are carbon emissions, living standards and my sense of decency… I mean, the underwear I’m wearing hasn’t been washed for at least a week.”

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