Spain Willing to Mediate for India and Pakistan, Will Bring Refreshments

Simian Practicalist
May 9
1 min read

Sevilla, Spain – Global powers have called for restraint and de-escalation as the military of India and Pakistan slug it out.

“Let’s be honest here: on paper at least, Pakistan is outmanned and outgunned,” said a German foreign ministry staffer, “so they better talk it over.”

“And Pakistan has shoved most of their shells to Ukraine and Israel,” said a source from the Spanish foreign ministry speaking on the condition of anonymity.

Despite having no power, the source insisted that they still have gas and barbeques.

“Spain is happy to mediate before they start turning each other into craters of glass. We’re happy to bring refreshments like our specialty mixed beef and pork chorizos. We make really good sausages and we’re sure all parties will enjoy it as much as we do.”