Philadelphia, PA – Experts have confirmed that the I-95 bridge collapsed due to the steel supports having been melted by fire.
“After several train crashes involving chemicals, we knew we had to come up with new ideas for false flags. It’s really hard but we thought a gas tanker truck thingy might work,” said a staffer from the office of Transport Secretary Pete Buttgouge on the condition of anonymity. “At least it’s not a train, right?!”
Indeed, hundreds of thousands of cars and trucks depend on the highway every day and any disruption will probably have a negative impact on the supply chain.
However, the staffer could not elaborate on the specifics of the crash and the collapse.
“Now you’re really testing us. We couldn’t think of any other new ideas… I mean, half the world still believes a hydrocarbon fire caused the steel of the Twin Towers to buckle, so why not the I-95 bridge?”
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