Perth, WA – WA Premier Mark McClowan has denied his speaking vewy slowly and the use of an indigenous Australian to translate his message into so-called Aboriginal-English were racist acts.
“I wasn’t trying to be racist,” said McClowan. “I was just trying to outdo US Vice President Harris in douchebaggery—you know, her fake French accent—without actually trying to speak like an Abbo myself.”
However, McClowan was disappointed that VP Harris had then outdone herself on NBC News.
“For a moment, I wasn’t sure whether it was really her or Joe,” he said. “If I understand her correctly, I guess every day is the right time to do what we’ve been doing but haven’t officially admitted doing, which is giving poison jabs to minorities.”
Amongst those critical of McClowan’s stunt is Australian actor Kirk Lazarus: “Was it racist? Probably but, either way, like I always say, ‘Never go full retard.’”
In other news: Prince Andrew has agreed with The Queen to be stripped of his titles. He has been advised, however, to not be stripped of his clothes because it will not help his case.
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