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Thousands of One-day COVID Cases Baffle Australian Doctors

Melbourne, Australia – Doctors in Australia are baffled by the one-day surge of COVID cases on Friday.

Thousands of One-day COVID Cases Baffle Australian Doctors

“It’s a real mystery,” said Dr Grudgen. “Not only did we have tens of thousands of cases in every state, although Victoria had slightly less, but cases were mostly asymptomatic and everyone felt better by about 4pm anyway.”

Experts have denied that the suddenly declared national public holiday on Thursday to mourn the death of Queen Elizabeth II was a “coincidence”.

“I don’t think people taking Friday off to get a long weekend has anything to do with it,” said Grudgen.

When asked why the state of Victoria had fewer cases on Friday, experts also denied any connection to the fact that the state already had a holiday due to some sporting match on the weekend.

“Since people weren’t going to work anyway, they didn’t go get tested, but the cases [in Victoria] could still have been very high,” added Grudgen.

Despite these cases lasting merely one day, he urged vigilance: “We still must wear three masks, get six vaccine shots and get on our knees and worship Danny ‘the Commie Fanny’ Andrews as god on earth because that’s what the science says.”


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