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Simian Practicalist

Evergrande Collapse Led to Tower of Babel Failure

Los Angeles, CA – Theologians at Ultra-Modern Christian Seminary speculate that the construction of the so-called Tower of Babel was not stopped by an act of God.


Evergrande Collapse Led to Tower of Babel Failure

“There is no denying that there was a real confusion due to languages,” said Dr Frank Lügner. “However, it was not the confusion of languages in a literal sense but rather a confusion of financial language—I mean, seriously, nothing’s changed.”


Recent archeological discoveries include records on stone tablets referring to a city with a tower under construction.


Lügner found financial records indicating that the Tower of Babel project was “suspended” by the collapse of Evergrande Real Estate.


“There are also references to a ‘delay in a decision for debt restructure’ or something like that,” said Lügner. “Whatever ‘debt restructure’ that was implemented obviously did not lead to further work [on the tower], which suits our lazy protestant theology just fine.”

 

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