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China Announces New Olympic Event


Beijing, China – The Chinese Olympic Committee has announced a new event for the upcoming Winter Olympics: Jabalin.

“It’s a simple event,” said Mr Jang, spokesperson for the committee. “Contestants are given 100 doses of vaccines and the first to vaccinate 100 Uyghurs is declared the winner.”

In response to accusations from the West of committing genocide, Jang answered, “Why do they care? Western dipromat no come anyway. Besides, we care about our people. We give them good needles for their health!”

The other benefit of the event is that it is not limited to winter but can also be held in summer.

In case the games run out of Uyghurs, organizers plan to use other guests from their re-education camps as participants.


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