Theologians: Only Vaccinated Animals Boarded Noah’s Ark

St Paul, MN – Theologians at Just-the-Cross Seminary have answered one of the most-asked questions: How could Noah have fitted all the species into the ark in order to re-populate the Earth after the Flood?

The answer is apparently very simple, according to Professor John Pfitzer.

“We’ve recently discovered a very old manuscript containing fragments of Genesis,” he said, “and there are references to a plague just before the flood.”

Pfitzer and his team spent six months translating the fragments.

“As with any plague, there must have been a vaccine and some of the animals refused to adhere to the mandate so they had to be barred from boarding the ark,” he said. “Fortunately, the ark could fit all the animals that were vaccinated.”

Pfitzer admits that references to the vaccine, like most things, are somewhat vague and subject to interpretation.

“Anyway,” he said, “the moral of the story is that one should vaccinate if they want to save themselves.”

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