NYC Church to Offer Vegan Holy Communion

New York City, NY – Following Mayor Eric Adams’s vision for health and fitness, New Re-reformed Now-Truer Church of Jesus will offer vegan holy communion during their Friday services.

“Not that we think much of the ‘true presence’ in the first place,” said Pastor Frances Moleson, “but I think it appropriate that the Lord’s Supper on Fridays should be vegan only.”

Moleson assures anyone attending services on Fridays that the bread and wine will remain merely the cheap wafers and wine that it really is without the body and blood of Christ hidden beneath the Eucharistic accidents.

“That way, no one needs to be offended, and we definitely don’t want to offend anyone,” said Moleson.

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