Simian Practicalist

Oct 10, 20221 min

Democrats: Reboot 90 Day Fiancé to Get More Migrants

Updated: Jan 20

New York City, NY – The Democrats have called for a reboot of the reality show 90 Day Fiancé.

“Well… uhh… I think 90 days is too long,” said Joe Biden on Sunday. “We need more migrants and all that… especially if… if… if they’re young girls.”

Kamala Harris then said, “I think what the President is trying to say is that the show should be 90 Hour Fiancé as it would be more efficient in dealing with people at our southern borders humanely.”

When queried if participants of the reboot would be limited to those from central and south America and therefore seemingly stereotyping, Harris indicated that diversity is one of the aims.

“Oh, don’t worry,” said Harris with a laugh, “we’re planning to invite North Koreans to participate.”

In related news: former White House national security adviser John Bolton will be the first participant in the new reality show 90 Day Regime Change in which he will try to pick a country to execute a regime change.

“I don’t think there isn’t a country I don’t want to f—,” said Bolton, “so it will be a challenge to find a country I really like.”


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