Australian PM Albanese’s Mardi Gras March Not the Group Hug He Wanted

Sydney, Australia – Anthony Albanese has become the first Australian Prime Minister to march in the Mardi Gras parade.

“It’s unfortunate that I am the first prime minister to do so,” he said, “but I gotta look like I’m doing something, especially if it’s something to do with being inclusive and pronouns.”

The government had invited world leaders to attend so Prime Minister Albanese doesn’t look like a loner.

“I wanted to share such a historic occasion with other world leaders,” he said, “to really put myself, I mean Australia, on the world stage.”

Many of those who were invited accepted but none turned up.

“The US is pretty advanced when it comes to these woke issues, so President Biden didn’t really see why he should attend and changed his mind,” said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Besides, the president had to suddenly collect some cash from Ukraine.”

US Transport Secretary Pete Buttgouge “would have loved to come” but his office indicated that “the Ohio train clusterf*** and other false flags are keeping the secretary busy”.

Rishi Sunak, who is somehow still the UK PM, and European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen both sent their apologies because they “had a war and plandemic to run and need to bring in the New World Order”.

“It’s sad, really,” said Albanese, “I was hoping Australia would make some friends.”

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