Alien Town Hall Meeting Outrates CNN-Biden’s

Hadley’s Hope, LV-426 – CNN’s town hall event with Biden on Wednesday night was a ratings failure.

This is puzzling for analysts since Biden received over 81 million votes in the election, making him the most popular presidential candidate ever.

“It’s not what one expects,” said media analyst Gale Larson. “There is one possible explanation. The xenomorphs on Weyland-Yutani’s LV-426 terraforming colony held their first-ever town hall meeting at the same time, so maybe viewers tuned into that. But still, Biden’s ratings are pretty bad.”

Weyland-Yutani spokesperson Carter Burke confirmed that there was indeed a town meeting held under the fusion-powered atmosphere processor and that the alien queen herself was present. “Most of Hadley’s Hope attended along with many aliens.”

According to Weyland-Yutani’s records, the human population of Hadley’s Hope is merely 158. “Exactly,” said Larson. “Like I said, CNN’s ratings with Biden are pretty bad, especially when rumors say that most of the town got eaten.”

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